Where's Sue?
It’s not often I’ve had to push the panic button with my 86 year old mother. (She would probably smack me for giving her age.) But not too long ago, I got a little scare. It was time to pull out my Worst Case Scenario book but I remembered, I didn’t have one. So I had to go to Plan B which was…??? See, I’ve never had to act on an emergency scenario so I didn’t quite know what to do. I digress.
It all started when I decided to call my mother at 7:00 p.m. one evening. There’s a three hour time difference so the call would have come in at 10:00 p.m. at her house. Now my mother is home in the evenings. She’s not social except during the day and it’s rare anyone would take her out in the evening because she would either feign fatigue or illness or say she had to get back to the house which she keeps at 86 degrees no matter what the weather is outside. I think the heat in the house goes up every year with her age. And she’s up at that time of the evening, in fact, she’s mostly up all night. She's usually watching some Dateline program, 20/20, CNN, local news, etc. The woman never leaves the five mile radius surrounding the house but has to continually watch the news. Then call me up and tell me what’s happening in my neighborhood. Is it any wonder I never watch the news? Mom has it covered. If there's an earthquake, I call her and say, what just happened? She knows.
So I call and there’s no answer. The machine kicks on but I wait because sometimes she picks up when the machine answers. She’s not a fragile 86 by any means but the news keeps her enraptured until the third ring at times. But this time the machine is running and no one is picking up. Strange. So I call her cell phone which she was told to keep with her at all times in case she falls and can’t get up. No answer. My mother is pretty good with a cell phone but only if it’s ringing or she’s dialing. After four years we finally got her to figure out her voicemail and how to retrieve messages. Her mailbox was full for two years with messages from people who assumed if they dialed her cell phone they’d be able to leave a message. She insisted she didn’t know how to retrieve her voicemail and resisted learning until I told her 20/20 left a message one day and she missed it. Pretty soon, she was working voicemail.
So I dial the house again a few minutes later, no answer. Dial cell phone, no answer. Hmmm. Did she tell me she was going out and if so, with whom? Her brother was dying and I thought maybe she’s at the hospital. So I try my cousin’s cell phone. I try Mom's cell phone again. Now, in addition to the voicemail, we had to train her to check to see if her ringer was even working. Sometimes it was in “off” mode, not even vibration mode. That was harrowing. But once again, I used the example, hey, what if Dateline called and you weren’t available because your ringer was turned off. That does it every time.
Then I try my sister and leave a message. Maybe Mom is with her or told her information. But I’m not panicking yet. I wait about twenty minutes then try again, both cell and home. No answer. Now I’m into emergency mode. I try to figure out the last names of my mother’s neighbors. My mother is blessed with two middle age single women on either side of her living alone in their homes. I figure out one woman’s name and give her a call. I leave a message, please see if there’s a light on in the house or my mother’s car is there. Give me a call. I’m 2000 miles away and feel very helpless right now. I may have fallen myself.
Then I call, finally, the local police department. I talk to a very nice woman and explain to her that I’m 2000 miles away, my elderly mother lives alone and I can’t get ahold of her. She’s usually home every evening and she’s not picking up the phone. I can’t seem to find anyone either who can check on her or tell me if she’s gone out. So the nice lady says she’ll send a squad car over to see what’s up. I tell them there’s a key in the garage, but I don’t know the code to the remote door opener. The nice lady tells me she’ll call me with details when the squad car gets there.
My sister calls and I tell her I’ve called the police. My sister who is usually only 25 miles away is taking a vacation in Florida and is also about 2000 miles away herself oddly enough. She tells me the remote door code. I say too late, they’ve probably already broken the glass in the garage window to get in and then tells me where the key is in the garage. She doesn’t know where Mom went to this evening either.
The nice lady from the police dispatch calls and tells me the police are in the house. The dog is barking in the background. I forgot about the dog. Poor Rebel is probably scared half out of its wits and it’s a nervous skinny retriever mix to begin with, skittish, I think is the operating description of this dog. The nice lady says the 200 pound or so police officer got in the house through an open window (What!!? The house has finally warped from the heat no doubt.), but they’re in the house and it’s dark and she’s not at home. Then the nice lady asks me if my mother is at the City Hall meeting and I say, oh my god, yes, she could be there. Was that tonight? Yes it was and she asks, does your mother have white hair and is she short? Yes, she does. Well, she’s speaking on TV right now at the meeting. The meeting is running long which is unusual because there’s a high turnout. Well, no doubt, because my mother showed up.
Oh brother. Okay, yes, that’s her. Grabbing the news spotlight whenever and wherever she can. Sigh. And her next door neighbor, the one I called, is there with her. So while my mother is over at the meeting, she making news in her local city because an APB has been put out for her by some 200 pound police officer who got a little more exercise than he bargained for on duty this evening. But he got to meet a nice dog. A nice, skittish dog.
One of the officers goes over to the meeting and tells my mother that her daughters are worried and have been looking for her. She checks her cell phone which she turned off (!!) because she was in the meeting. Another cell phone lesson for Mom: don’t turn off the phone, just turn the ringer off. Sigh.
So she’s a mix of humiliation and pride that her daughters actually cared enough to call the police to see if she was okay and humbled enough to realize that being the center of news attention isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. All this within the five mile radius that surrounds her house. “I’ll never do that again,” Mom says. "I have to remember to tell you where I'm going." Yes, thank you.
But, now, I know what to do in this worst case scenario. Next time, I told her to get pix and phone numbers of the police officers if they’re single. I think this is really the reason for a worst case scenario. And I'm on the phone to Dateline as we speak. Elderly parents out too late with turned off cell phones...
MM
It all started when I decided to call my mother at 7:00 p.m. one evening. There’s a three hour time difference so the call would have come in at 10:00 p.m. at her house. Now my mother is home in the evenings. She’s not social except during the day and it’s rare anyone would take her out in the evening because she would either feign fatigue or illness or say she had to get back to the house which she keeps at 86 degrees no matter what the weather is outside. I think the heat in the house goes up every year with her age. And she’s up at that time of the evening, in fact, she’s mostly up all night. She's usually watching some Dateline program, 20/20, CNN, local news, etc. The woman never leaves the five mile radius surrounding the house but has to continually watch the news. Then call me up and tell me what’s happening in my neighborhood. Is it any wonder I never watch the news? Mom has it covered. If there's an earthquake, I call her and say, what just happened? She knows.
So I call and there’s no answer. The machine kicks on but I wait because sometimes she picks up when the machine answers. She’s not a fragile 86 by any means but the news keeps her enraptured until the third ring at times. But this time the machine is running and no one is picking up. Strange. So I call her cell phone which she was told to keep with her at all times in case she falls and can’t get up. No answer. My mother is pretty good with a cell phone but only if it’s ringing or she’s dialing. After four years we finally got her to figure out her voicemail and how to retrieve messages. Her mailbox was full for two years with messages from people who assumed if they dialed her cell phone they’d be able to leave a message. She insisted she didn’t know how to retrieve her voicemail and resisted learning until I told her 20/20 left a message one day and she missed it. Pretty soon, she was working voicemail.
So I dial the house again a few minutes later, no answer. Dial cell phone, no answer. Hmmm. Did she tell me she was going out and if so, with whom? Her brother was dying and I thought maybe she’s at the hospital. So I try my cousin’s cell phone. I try Mom's cell phone again. Now, in addition to the voicemail, we had to train her to check to see if her ringer was even working. Sometimes it was in “off” mode, not even vibration mode. That was harrowing. But once again, I used the example, hey, what if Dateline called and you weren’t available because your ringer was turned off. That does it every time.
Then I try my sister and leave a message. Maybe Mom is with her or told her information. But I’m not panicking yet. I wait about twenty minutes then try again, both cell and home. No answer. Now I’m into emergency mode. I try to figure out the last names of my mother’s neighbors. My mother is blessed with two middle age single women on either side of her living alone in their homes. I figure out one woman’s name and give her a call. I leave a message, please see if there’s a light on in the house or my mother’s car is there. Give me a call. I’m 2000 miles away and feel very helpless right now. I may have fallen myself.
Then I call, finally, the local police department. I talk to a very nice woman and explain to her that I’m 2000 miles away, my elderly mother lives alone and I can’t get ahold of her. She’s usually home every evening and she’s not picking up the phone. I can’t seem to find anyone either who can check on her or tell me if she’s gone out. So the nice lady says she’ll send a squad car over to see what’s up. I tell them there’s a key in the garage, but I don’t know the code to the remote door opener. The nice lady tells me she’ll call me with details when the squad car gets there.
My sister calls and I tell her I’ve called the police. My sister who is usually only 25 miles away is taking a vacation in Florida and is also about 2000 miles away herself oddly enough. She tells me the remote door code. I say too late, they’ve probably already broken the glass in the garage window to get in and then tells me where the key is in the garage. She doesn’t know where Mom went to this evening either.
The nice lady from the police dispatch calls and tells me the police are in the house. The dog is barking in the background. I forgot about the dog. Poor Rebel is probably scared half out of its wits and it’s a nervous skinny retriever mix to begin with, skittish, I think is the operating description of this dog. The nice lady says the 200 pound or so police officer got in the house through an open window (What!!? The house has finally warped from the heat no doubt.), but they’re in the house and it’s dark and she’s not at home. Then the nice lady asks me if my mother is at the City Hall meeting and I say, oh my god, yes, she could be there. Was that tonight? Yes it was and she asks, does your mother have white hair and is she short? Yes, she does. Well, she’s speaking on TV right now at the meeting. The meeting is running long which is unusual because there’s a high turnout. Well, no doubt, because my mother showed up.
Oh brother. Okay, yes, that’s her. Grabbing the news spotlight whenever and wherever she can. Sigh. And her next door neighbor, the one I called, is there with her. So while my mother is over at the meeting, she making news in her local city because an APB has been put out for her by some 200 pound police officer who got a little more exercise than he bargained for on duty this evening. But he got to meet a nice dog. A nice, skittish dog.
One of the officers goes over to the meeting and tells my mother that her daughters are worried and have been looking for her. She checks her cell phone which she turned off (!!) because she was in the meeting. Another cell phone lesson for Mom: don’t turn off the phone, just turn the ringer off. Sigh.
So she’s a mix of humiliation and pride that her daughters actually cared enough to call the police to see if she was okay and humbled enough to realize that being the center of news attention isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. All this within the five mile radius that surrounds her house. “I’ll never do that again,” Mom says. "I have to remember to tell you where I'm going." Yes, thank you.
But, now, I know what to do in this worst case scenario. Next time, I told her to get pix and phone numbers of the police officers if they’re single. I think this is really the reason for a worst case scenario. And I'm on the phone to Dateline as we speak. Elderly parents out too late with turned off cell phones...
MM
posted by Maria @ 12:43 PM
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