Day 60 of Unemployment
Already two months, no work. Well, I’m working, I’m just not being paid for it…yet. I get all this time to write, hooray. I don’t have anyone who wants the work…boo. Here’s another little glitch. Every time I fill out one of those EDD forms to get paid, they schedule a phone call. What the…???!!! Just send the damn checks! It’s been two months and I’ve only gotten two checks totaling $810.00. Thank God, I don’t need to pay my rent or anything. Thank God I’m independently wealthy. Unbelievable. Why bother even applying for unemployment if they’re always trying to catch you in something? I don’t know why they scheduled a call this time. Maybe they just want to chat. Maybe they found out I’m going to pole dancing school for middle aged women who have been laid off and instead of taking crap during the day from men, they learn how to take it at night scantily clad. Oh wait, that’s my personal life. But at least I’ll make some money. I don’t know. I only know THAT IT WOULD BE NICE IF I GOT A CHECK!! A FEW CHECKS!!
Excuse me. So what do I do all day? First of all, can I say how much I love my place? It is wonderful. I don’t feel boxed in like I did in the old place and I can sit here and write all day. I have done more writing in the last two months that I have in ten years. I’m finishing my spec script and starting on another one, working on a pilot and writing songs for my solo play that got derailed last year. I can do things in the evening without feeling exhausted from being at work all day. I can make a 6 p.m. yoga class once a week, twice a week if I want. I can enjoy the sunshine during the day taking my walks during writing breaks. I am playing the piano again, changed my guitar strings, playing guitar everyday and sleeping in later and staying up later which is more of my normal schedule. My house is really clean too. It always was clean but now I can get to it in short rather than long order. All this and more, I just can’t afford to eat. Or use the phone or turn on the lights. But those things are overrated if you ask me.
And, I bake cookies, cakes, baby-sit dogs, help the elderly cross the street, direct traffic and planted a garden. I volunteer for the local nonprofits and make sure I’m on time for afternoon prayer with all the other sisters if I’m not lost in thought dreaming on Mt. Salzburg. Then I take in foster children and we go out during the day and sing songs with me on guitar and the children marching and dancing behind me singing along. Sometimes we climb trees and I make them clothes, because I’ve learned how to sew now, and I make them from the curtains that used to hang in my bedroom. It’s adorable. Then when it thunders they all run in my room at night and we sing some more. Ah, isn’t being unemployed fun??? I renamed myself Maria Von Trapp and I’m going to take the children out and enter festivals as a singing group. Where’s my Captain though? We’re missing the captain.
Goodness, I must go now and prepare for our farewell song to all the guests I’ve invited to my apartment to dance to Austrian waltzes this Saturday night. We’re going to sing and the children are going to use the steps leading up to my front door for the show. Later on, we’ll sing about a mountain flower that doesn’t grow in California and that no one cares about here because you can’t smoke it. Sigh.
Yeah, okay, I need to get back to work soon. Stay tuned next week when I move in with my sister and her husband after I’ve been kicked out of my motel for nonpayment and out of my teaching job for sleeping with all the men in the county. I get to wear chiffon dresses, talk like a Southern gentile peach, and get taken away in a straitjacket. That should be fun.
Captain, where are you?
Excuse me. So what do I do all day? First of all, can I say how much I love my place? It is wonderful. I don’t feel boxed in like I did in the old place and I can sit here and write all day. I have done more writing in the last two months that I have in ten years. I’m finishing my spec script and starting on another one, working on a pilot and writing songs for my solo play that got derailed last year. I can do things in the evening without feeling exhausted from being at work all day. I can make a 6 p.m. yoga class once a week, twice a week if I want. I can enjoy the sunshine during the day taking my walks during writing breaks. I am playing the piano again, changed my guitar strings, playing guitar everyday and sleeping in later and staying up later which is more of my normal schedule. My house is really clean too. It always was clean but now I can get to it in short rather than long order. All this and more, I just can’t afford to eat. Or use the phone or turn on the lights. But those things are overrated if you ask me.
And, I bake cookies, cakes, baby-sit dogs, help the elderly cross the street, direct traffic and planted a garden. I volunteer for the local nonprofits and make sure I’m on time for afternoon prayer with all the other sisters if I’m not lost in thought dreaming on Mt. Salzburg. Then I take in foster children and we go out during the day and sing songs with me on guitar and the children marching and dancing behind me singing along. Sometimes we climb trees and I make them clothes, because I’ve learned how to sew now, and I make them from the curtains that used to hang in my bedroom. It’s adorable. Then when it thunders they all run in my room at night and we sing some more. Ah, isn’t being unemployed fun??? I renamed myself Maria Von Trapp and I’m going to take the children out and enter festivals as a singing group. Where’s my Captain though? We’re missing the captain.
Goodness, I must go now and prepare for our farewell song to all the guests I’ve invited to my apartment to dance to Austrian waltzes this Saturday night. We’re going to sing and the children are going to use the steps leading up to my front door for the show. Later on, we’ll sing about a mountain flower that doesn’t grow in California and that no one cares about here because you can’t smoke it. Sigh.
Yeah, okay, I need to get back to work soon. Stay tuned next week when I move in with my sister and her husband after I’ve been kicked out of my motel for nonpayment and out of my teaching job for sleeping with all the men in the county. I get to wear chiffon dresses, talk like a Southern gentile peach, and get taken away in a straitjacket. That should be fun.
Captain, where are you?
posted by Maria @ 9:56 PM
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