HAPPY UNEMPLOYED NEW YEAR!!
First blog of the new year! So much for that counting down the 12 days of Christmas thing blog. Yeah, that didn’t happen. But so much otherwise has! Let me tell you what hasn’t first, so you don’t get too excited. I didn’t get married, I didn’t buy a house, I haven’t gotten a leading role in a Clint Eastwood film (although my Detroit connections might help now that he filmed “Gran Torino” in Detroit, good fer him!), nor did I book any TV shows, commercials or other writing jobs. Well then you say what did happen that was good if none of that did. Well, are you sitting down? I got laid off from work. YIPPEEEE!! No, really. I have been sitting around (well, barring errands, walking, running and yoga everyday and classes) and studying my creative work, writing, making strides on my solo play and others, reading, reading, reading and going to see a lot of wonderful films. Oh and spending way too much money for someone who doesn’t have any good day job prospects in front of her. WAY too much money. I don’t mean designer clothes stuff but books, CDs and the lone top, blouse, t-shirt, too good to pass up deals at Christmas stuff.
This is not new for me losing a job. It’s just that I’m so used to it that now at my age, I see it as an opportunity to improve my lot rather than a nail in a coffin. The work will always be there in one form or another. At some point, the offers will come in again and I actually have an interview on Thursday this week, and I will have my pick of where I want to be. It’s just that this time, I really felt as if I was getting very complacent in my day job. In fact, I just wanted to write and not be bothered with anything other than keeping my bills paid and food and shelter available. I had goals I was working towards like this solo play and classes I was taking at UCLA in writing and feeling good about that. But as soon as I was let go, which I knew was inevitable from day one oddly enough, I felt like this lid had come off this very large pot (not my belly which is getting smaller and tauter every day thank you). All of a sudden, it hit me. I could do theater. I could audition for stuff again. I could take acting classes…DURING THE DAY! I could do lots of things now…DURING THE DAY. Including my writing. The fact that I wasn’t getting paid for any of this really didn’t strike me as a problem. It still doesn’t. As if to encourage me, I got a call from some guy at some theater company to come in and read and sing for a part in his upcoming January production. I still don’t know how this guy even got my pix or number. Sing!?? Ugh. But what the hell, I did it. And I was great! It was such a fun audition and they were so nice. I played not one but three songs and even brought my guitar which ended up being a conversation piece. I think I would have had the part if I wasn’t going away for a week back to Detroit at the end of December. Nevertheless, when I got back I learned a new monologue my new acting coach had given me and applied it to an Equity audition on Monday. If I had been working, I never would have considered auditioning. Wrong, so wrong! I did really well, so well, I got a callback. These are encouraging signs to me.
Most importantly, I feel like I have to get back to my original goals and that I can tackle them again with courage, faith and no small amount of confidence and no trace of anger or bitterness. I feel renewed. This is what I needed in these past two years of desert that I’ve been traversing and trying to cross. It really doesn’t matter where you are in your life, the opportunity for renewal is always present. It may take some time to cross the desert but the journey is worth it. No matter what happens with any of these projects, I know that I’ve set my goals again and have the ability, talent and will to see them through. The best thing: I don’t care anymore what anyone says, what anyone thinks or who the critics are, I’m living my life the way I want to and I fought for and that is what’s great about this new year, another chance to do just that.
Read some great books in the week I was home (yes, I read three books in one week):
Don’t Look Now, selected stories by Daphne du Maurier. Chilling is all I can say. Very Twilight Zone-ish but that’s almost insulting, these stories are so much better. I remember seeing the film of the book’s title years ago and shall revisit it again. The story is much better though.
Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name, by Vendela Vida. I picked this book up in a little bookstore I frequent in Studio City and what intrigued me was it took place in Finland/Lapland and involved a setting in an ice hotel, no lie. I read this in one day, it was so good. I’m all for stories about main characters searching for their fathers, since my father was such a peach and I still miss him every day. This story didn’t disappoint. I don’t think I’ve ever read a story where the mother was such a brutal character and even then it’s hard to judge.
The Shack, by William P. Young. Okay, I know this one is like saying hey read Conversations With God, Part 16, but it is much different. It’s told in the vein of a memoir and could be true or not true but it’s heartbreaking and hopeful and enlightening and wise and beautiful and horrific all at the same time. I read it in one sitting on the plane coming home to LA. Aw, I call this place home now, finally. Anyway, I was amazed at how the insights in the book correspond to my spiritual studies now in contemplative living. Why, it’s just like Fr. Keating says it is, go figure. Those mystical monks are really onto something. I also was drawn in by the horrific incident that starts the main character on his spiritual journey since I still find unrest in the unanswered evil in the world. Go ahead, pick it up, you don’t have to tell anyone or blog about it.
I so thoroughly enjoyed visiting with my nephews and family this holiday season. My mother came to stay with me out here for six weeks and through the holidays and we went back together for the last week of the year. It was a restful time and reflective time and I had so much good food that I went and gave away hundreds of dollars to those who really need it this time since our country is in such turmoil and upheaval and I feel still very lucky for what I have. I shall leave off with my explanation of this lovely picture at top of my sister and I taken on New Year’s Eve or actually just after the new year began. It’s inspiration comes from my older nephew Adam, 15 now, whew, who advises that when you take a picture you should “look away.” So we did. I took it a little farther than intended and added the flare of the nostrils part, but I do believe but I’m working on it. Try it next time someone points a camera at you. It’s adds a little something or other.
This is not new for me losing a job. It’s just that I’m so used to it that now at my age, I see it as an opportunity to improve my lot rather than a nail in a coffin. The work will always be there in one form or another. At some point, the offers will come in again and I actually have an interview on Thursday this week, and I will have my pick of where I want to be. It’s just that this time, I really felt as if I was getting very complacent in my day job. In fact, I just wanted to write and not be bothered with anything other than keeping my bills paid and food and shelter available. I had goals I was working towards like this solo play and classes I was taking at UCLA in writing and feeling good about that. But as soon as I was let go, which I knew was inevitable from day one oddly enough, I felt like this lid had come off this very large pot (not my belly which is getting smaller and tauter every day thank you). All of a sudden, it hit me. I could do theater. I could audition for stuff again. I could take acting classes…DURING THE DAY! I could do lots of things now…DURING THE DAY. Including my writing. The fact that I wasn’t getting paid for any of this really didn’t strike me as a problem. It still doesn’t. As if to encourage me, I got a call from some guy at some theater company to come in and read and sing for a part in his upcoming January production. I still don’t know how this guy even got my pix or number. Sing!?? Ugh. But what the hell, I did it. And I was great! It was such a fun audition and they were so nice. I played not one but three songs and even brought my guitar which ended up being a conversation piece. I think I would have had the part if I wasn’t going away for a week back to Detroit at the end of December. Nevertheless, when I got back I learned a new monologue my new acting coach had given me and applied it to an Equity audition on Monday. If I had been working, I never would have considered auditioning. Wrong, so wrong! I did really well, so well, I got a callback. These are encouraging signs to me.
Most importantly, I feel like I have to get back to my original goals and that I can tackle them again with courage, faith and no small amount of confidence and no trace of anger or bitterness. I feel renewed. This is what I needed in these past two years of desert that I’ve been traversing and trying to cross. It really doesn’t matter where you are in your life, the opportunity for renewal is always present. It may take some time to cross the desert but the journey is worth it. No matter what happens with any of these projects, I know that I’ve set my goals again and have the ability, talent and will to see them through. The best thing: I don’t care anymore what anyone says, what anyone thinks or who the critics are, I’m living my life the way I want to and I fought for and that is what’s great about this new year, another chance to do just that.
Read some great books in the week I was home (yes, I read three books in one week):
Don’t Look Now, selected stories by Daphne du Maurier. Chilling is all I can say. Very Twilight Zone-ish but that’s almost insulting, these stories are so much better. I remember seeing the film of the book’s title years ago and shall revisit it again. The story is much better though.
Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name, by Vendela Vida. I picked this book up in a little bookstore I frequent in Studio City and what intrigued me was it took place in Finland/Lapland and involved a setting in an ice hotel, no lie. I read this in one day, it was so good. I’m all for stories about main characters searching for their fathers, since my father was such a peach and I still miss him every day. This story didn’t disappoint. I don’t think I’ve ever read a story where the mother was such a brutal character and even then it’s hard to judge.
The Shack, by William P. Young. Okay, I know this one is like saying hey read Conversations With God, Part 16, but it is much different. It’s told in the vein of a memoir and could be true or not true but it’s heartbreaking and hopeful and enlightening and wise and beautiful and horrific all at the same time. I read it in one sitting on the plane coming home to LA. Aw, I call this place home now, finally. Anyway, I was amazed at how the insights in the book correspond to my spiritual studies now in contemplative living. Why, it’s just like Fr. Keating says it is, go figure. Those mystical monks are really onto something. I also was drawn in by the horrific incident that starts the main character on his spiritual journey since I still find unrest in the unanswered evil in the world. Go ahead, pick it up, you don’t have to tell anyone or blog about it.
I so thoroughly enjoyed visiting with my nephews and family this holiday season. My mother came to stay with me out here for six weeks and through the holidays and we went back together for the last week of the year. It was a restful time and reflective time and I had so much good food that I went and gave away hundreds of dollars to those who really need it this time since our country is in such turmoil and upheaval and I feel still very lucky for what I have. I shall leave off with my explanation of this lovely picture at top of my sister and I taken on New Year’s Eve or actually just after the new year began. It’s inspiration comes from my older nephew Adam, 15 now, whew, who advises that when you take a picture you should “look away.” So we did. I took it a little farther than intended and added the flare of the nostrils part, but I do believe but I’m working on it. Try it next time someone points a camera at you. It’s adds a little something or other.
posted by Maria @ 3:09 PM
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