MOM CAN CUT A RUG!
But I already knew that. My mother came to visit me for the holidays. She spent 10 relaxing days in a one bedroom apartment and froze to death. “It’s so cold here,” she exclaimed. “I thought I’d be taking a swim in your pool.” Well, no, Mom. It’s California but it’s winter here as well and we don’t go swimming in December. That would be the 50th state, Hawaii, where that might be true. Sorry. Put away the swimsuit now. And there’s more chocolate in the ‘fridge.
My mother hasn’t been out to see me since I moved to Los Angeles eight years ago. The place looks vastly different than when she first saw it. It was empty when she saw it and now there’s furniture all around the three rooms of the place. I even bought some new furniture just for her arrival. See, I don’t fix the place up really until someone comes to stay. Then I have to look around and think like a normal person and figure out how do normal people live as opposed to me who only needs ”…this ashtray, this remote control, this chair and this ping pong paddle…and that’s all.” Or something like that. If you know that reference I have a prize behind Door No. 1 for you. (And if you know that reference about the door then I have another prize behind Door No. 2 for you. But if there’s too many of you forget it because it’ll be too expensive.) So I had to actually buy two chairs and a dining table that doesn’t really fit in my nonexistent dining area space as we swung around to avoid puncturing a lung to sit and have dinner. And some fine dinners they were too. Both at home and venturing out to dine. It was the perfect addition too because in our family getting together to have a meal is important time to enjoy good food and talk and just sit and relax. You can’t really do that when you live alone. Seems you have to dine with the television. It might be entertaining but it doesn’t really aid in digestion. And it smacks of living in trailers and burping after beer. Stuff like that. Not that people who live in trailers dine while watching television or burp after drinking beer. I’m sure sometimes they play Billy Ray Cyrus and have all night burping contests, so not to generalize or anything. Just making a point is all.
I even talked the woman, my mother that is, into attending a party at my acting coach’s house one evening. I planned to stay only an hour if she got tired, just long enough to say hello to everyone, drink wine and stick my finger doused in tabasco sauce into some food item and then watch to see who would eat it and scream. Things like that. We arrived at 8 p.m. and left at MIDNIGHT! And only because I got tired. Geesh, the woman is a dynamo! After a while she told the DJ that he needed to start playing some dance music because everyone was falling asleep. Pretty soon, the buffet table had been pushed over to make a dance floor and we were dancing. Then after awhile Mom says to the DJ, “You have to give them a rest now.” And then the slow dancing began. Who says an 85 year old doesn’t know her stuff? Ha! She was moving along with the best of them.
We went to see a bunch of flicks. Our favorite was “Enchanted” where Cinderella was even in the audience the night we went to see it. No, not the animated Cinderella either. You want to hear the story? Well, pull up a chair and sit down. And now…
Once upon a time, an 85 year old woman traveled 2,000 miles to visit her daughter who lived far away. They decided to go to the movies one night. The old woman said to the daughter, I will grant you three wishes. The daughter said, I want a car, a house and a man. The woman said, I will grant you one wish because that’s a lot and I don’t have that kind of money or leverage. The daughter said, okay, the car. And she got the car. Back to the movies. The woman and the daughter stood at the concessions counter to get their bottled water and cup of coffee amid dirty looks from the staff when the two looked over and spotted a man and a woman dressed casually, one resembling George Lucas and the other a well known actress. The man, they didn’t know, but the other woman looked familiar. The old woman said, that’s a movie star. The daughter said, I know and ran away so she wouldn’t be associated with the old woman when she decided to talk to the actress/movie star and embarrass her. Sure enough, before she could spirit her mother away, the daughter saw her 4 foot 10 inch tall mother tap the 5 foot 9 inch tall woman on the shoulder. The old woman said, I love your acting. The movie star said, giggling, oh thank you. And the daughter let out a sigh of relief. But she knew who the movie star was. She was Cinderella on TV years ago (not too many so as not to offend Cinderella) and oddly enough, Cinderella was going to see the film, “Enchanted” as they were. They all sat together and shared popcorn and wishes and traded scripts to read. And they lived happily ever after.
Actually, we sat at the top and they sat in the lower rows but it seemed serendipitous nevertheless because I loved the TV version of Cinderella growing up. It’s the best music and so beautifully told in the television version of the Broadway musical. And it was Lesley Anne Warren we saw at the movies who played Cinderella on TV. Some people have even mentioned over the years that I look like her although that’s flattering but not an accurate assessment. Anyway, it was exciting for Mom even though she couldn’t remember the movie star’s name. And everyone I’ve told this story to doesn’t either except me. Sorry, Lesley dahlink. But I knew dammit.
Well, the new year came in and it feels good to look forward to a new year filled with possibilities and hope. I think this is going to be a great big year for me in many ways. It was sure nice to be able to play hostess to my mother who’s still here to enjoy the holidays with me. We missed the other family members terribly but I had to take my turn at the work desk this year. I look forward this year to hosting many friends and family members out to visit because after all that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? Cinderella and a good DJ notwithstanding…
Love, Maria
My mother hasn’t been out to see me since I moved to Los Angeles eight years ago. The place looks vastly different than when she first saw it. It was empty when she saw it and now there’s furniture all around the three rooms of the place. I even bought some new furniture just for her arrival. See, I don’t fix the place up really until someone comes to stay. Then I have to look around and think like a normal person and figure out how do normal people live as opposed to me who only needs ”…this ashtray, this remote control, this chair and this ping pong paddle…and that’s all.” Or something like that. If you know that reference I have a prize behind Door No. 1 for you. (And if you know that reference about the door then I have another prize behind Door No. 2 for you. But if there’s too many of you forget it because it’ll be too expensive.) So I had to actually buy two chairs and a dining table that doesn’t really fit in my nonexistent dining area space as we swung around to avoid puncturing a lung to sit and have dinner. And some fine dinners they were too. Both at home and venturing out to dine. It was the perfect addition too because in our family getting together to have a meal is important time to enjoy good food and talk and just sit and relax. You can’t really do that when you live alone. Seems you have to dine with the television. It might be entertaining but it doesn’t really aid in digestion. And it smacks of living in trailers and burping after beer. Stuff like that. Not that people who live in trailers dine while watching television or burp after drinking beer. I’m sure sometimes they play Billy Ray Cyrus and have all night burping contests, so not to generalize or anything. Just making a point is all.
I even talked the woman, my mother that is, into attending a party at my acting coach’s house one evening. I planned to stay only an hour if she got tired, just long enough to say hello to everyone, drink wine and stick my finger doused in tabasco sauce into some food item and then watch to see who would eat it and scream. Things like that. We arrived at 8 p.m. and left at MIDNIGHT! And only because I got tired. Geesh, the woman is a dynamo! After a while she told the DJ that he needed to start playing some dance music because everyone was falling asleep. Pretty soon, the buffet table had been pushed over to make a dance floor and we were dancing. Then after awhile Mom says to the DJ, “You have to give them a rest now.” And then the slow dancing began. Who says an 85 year old doesn’t know her stuff? Ha! She was moving along with the best of them.
We went to see a bunch of flicks. Our favorite was “Enchanted” where Cinderella was even in the audience the night we went to see it. No, not the animated Cinderella either. You want to hear the story? Well, pull up a chair and sit down. And now…
Once upon a time, an 85 year old woman traveled 2,000 miles to visit her daughter who lived far away. They decided to go to the movies one night. The old woman said to the daughter, I will grant you three wishes. The daughter said, I want a car, a house and a man. The woman said, I will grant you one wish because that’s a lot and I don’t have that kind of money or leverage. The daughter said, okay, the car. And she got the car. Back to the movies. The woman and the daughter stood at the concessions counter to get their bottled water and cup of coffee amid dirty looks from the staff when the two looked over and spotted a man and a woman dressed casually, one resembling George Lucas and the other a well known actress. The man, they didn’t know, but the other woman looked familiar. The old woman said, that’s a movie star. The daughter said, I know and ran away so she wouldn’t be associated with the old woman when she decided to talk to the actress/movie star and embarrass her. Sure enough, before she could spirit her mother away, the daughter saw her 4 foot 10 inch tall mother tap the 5 foot 9 inch tall woman on the shoulder. The old woman said, I love your acting. The movie star said, giggling, oh thank you. And the daughter let out a sigh of relief. But she knew who the movie star was. She was Cinderella on TV years ago (not too many so as not to offend Cinderella) and oddly enough, Cinderella was going to see the film, “Enchanted” as they were. They all sat together and shared popcorn and wishes and traded scripts to read. And they lived happily ever after.
Actually, we sat at the top and they sat in the lower rows but it seemed serendipitous nevertheless because I loved the TV version of Cinderella growing up. It’s the best music and so beautifully told in the television version of the Broadway musical. And it was Lesley Anne Warren we saw at the movies who played Cinderella on TV. Some people have even mentioned over the years that I look like her although that’s flattering but not an accurate assessment. Anyway, it was exciting for Mom even though she couldn’t remember the movie star’s name. And everyone I’ve told this story to doesn’t either except me. Sorry, Lesley dahlink. But I knew dammit.
Well, the new year came in and it feels good to look forward to a new year filled with possibilities and hope. I think this is going to be a great big year for me in many ways. It was sure nice to be able to play hostess to my mother who’s still here to enjoy the holidays with me. We missed the other family members terribly but I had to take my turn at the work desk this year. I look forward this year to hosting many friends and family members out to visit because after all that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? Cinderella and a good DJ notwithstanding…
Love, Maria
posted by Maria @ 7:10 AM
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