We Have A Situation Here
I went to see an action flick over the weekend. Boy, was it good. Totally implausible plot and that trite action thriller dialogue: “We have a situation here.” Did he just say that? Do CIA agents really say, “We have a situation here?” Or have they changed it because too many agents were cracking up on the other end of the line, “Hey I just heard that in a movie.” “We really do have a situation here, agent and you’re fired.” I don’t think CIA agents laugh much. Or did the CIA change it to something like “Get your butt over here, pronto!” I think they would say “butt.” That’s a top secret word, right there. I counted how many times this line was spoken during the film and it was five times! By different characters to characters who had spoken the line to other characters. And they made it believable to their credit! Maybe I can try this in my personal life. “Hello, Mom, we have a situation here. I don’t have rent money.” She's fired me one too many times already.
You could hear a pin drop in the movie theater during the film. The audience applauded numerous times throughout and at the beginning and at the end. We are all just hungry for a good bit of entertainment aren’t we? I mean, this film is even a triquel!! Stuff you have to see on the big screen too. You have to suspend your belief in reality here. Really, how does a character on the run who doesn’t seem to be eating or sleeping, gets banged up a lot (alot!!) and dodges bombs and bullets, find all these gadgets like mobile phones and lock picks and such to do his sleuthing and counter-spying and getaways? But he shows up in the next scene and he’s got whatever he needs and we just watch to see how’s he gonna get outta this one! And it’s amazing! This was good action too, not just, hey, let’s blow up stuff and fly through the air. This was intrigue and people coloring their hair black. This was psychology and reflection and…Albert Finney! I love that guy. Even though he only shows up in the final scenes of the film.
I don’t go the movies so much anymore. It’s the multiplex thing. I have to drive into a parking structure the size of Texas and then attempt to find my way out to either the street or a part of the mall where the theaters are located. That requires a little espionage right there. Then there’s the multiplex itself with hundreds of people milling about and lines winding their way around the block. If you want anything to eat or drink, better have a fifty on you because it’s ridiculously expensive. Worse yet, you get out of the ticket line to stand in the concession line and it takes forever!! to move along and you end up missing maybe opening credits, if they have them. Gone are the days when you could decide to go see a film at the last minute, spontaneously, on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and get right in and find a good seat just before the lights went down. Forget it. I had fifteen minutes on Saturday and when I got there it was sold out. Sold out! Not uncommon, but that meant I’d better make a quick decision about seeing the next showing because it too might be sold out. I actually felt stuck there in the galleria because I knew if I didn’t go see the film, I’d have to pay for parking anyway so I’d leave just having paid for parking. Then I thought if this next showing might be sold out, that will mean that I will have to sit in close proximity to other people; other people who might be chatting, kicking my seat, eating smelly popcorn and fighting for the armrest. I hate that which is why I opt for Netflix mostly these days.
But what the hell, I thought. Go ahead, go see the flick. Yoga class just didn’t sound like an exciting option and I certainly wasn’t going to go home and do any writing. So I jumped over the down escalator railing onto the up escalator knocking two agents following me backwards into the crowd below. I jumped the ticket line ropes into the shortest queue and dropped a cell phone into the pocket of the mark in line next to me and wended my way out of the line. I sped down a corridor, up a flight of stairs, dialed the mark’s cell phone and told him to meet me in the front of Theater 16 with two tickets at 4:45 and to come alone. Then I motored through the lobby fending off agents dressed in blue overcoats to propel myself to the front of the concessions line safely dodging human obstacles and leaving with a box of Dots. Then I drove out of there toward Theater 16 swiftly kicking away various cardboard agents in my path. I was able to find a seat free from interference in the last row of the first section of Theater 16 right in the middle of the row enabling me to be free of any agents sitting behind me trying to tap out code with their foot on my seat back. Let the movie begin!
We did have a situation here and I managed once again to handle it with stealth and smarts. Look out, people, I’m goin’ to the movies.
You could hear a pin drop in the movie theater during the film. The audience applauded numerous times throughout and at the beginning and at the end. We are all just hungry for a good bit of entertainment aren’t we? I mean, this film is even a triquel!! Stuff you have to see on the big screen too. You have to suspend your belief in reality here. Really, how does a character on the run who doesn’t seem to be eating or sleeping, gets banged up a lot (alot!!) and dodges bombs and bullets, find all these gadgets like mobile phones and lock picks and such to do his sleuthing and counter-spying and getaways? But he shows up in the next scene and he’s got whatever he needs and we just watch to see how’s he gonna get outta this one! And it’s amazing! This was good action too, not just, hey, let’s blow up stuff and fly through the air. This was intrigue and people coloring their hair black. This was psychology and reflection and…Albert Finney! I love that guy. Even though he only shows up in the final scenes of the film.
I don’t go the movies so much anymore. It’s the multiplex thing. I have to drive into a parking structure the size of Texas and then attempt to find my way out to either the street or a part of the mall where the theaters are located. That requires a little espionage right there. Then there’s the multiplex itself with hundreds of people milling about and lines winding their way around the block. If you want anything to eat or drink, better have a fifty on you because it’s ridiculously expensive. Worse yet, you get out of the ticket line to stand in the concession line and it takes forever!! to move along and you end up missing maybe opening credits, if they have them. Gone are the days when you could decide to go see a film at the last minute, spontaneously, on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and get right in and find a good seat just before the lights went down. Forget it. I had fifteen minutes on Saturday and when I got there it was sold out. Sold out! Not uncommon, but that meant I’d better make a quick decision about seeing the next showing because it too might be sold out. I actually felt stuck there in the galleria because I knew if I didn’t go see the film, I’d have to pay for parking anyway so I’d leave just having paid for parking. Then I thought if this next showing might be sold out, that will mean that I will have to sit in close proximity to other people; other people who might be chatting, kicking my seat, eating smelly popcorn and fighting for the armrest. I hate that which is why I opt for Netflix mostly these days.
But what the hell, I thought. Go ahead, go see the flick. Yoga class just didn’t sound like an exciting option and I certainly wasn’t going to go home and do any writing. So I jumped over the down escalator railing onto the up escalator knocking two agents following me backwards into the crowd below. I jumped the ticket line ropes into the shortest queue and dropped a cell phone into the pocket of the mark in line next to me and wended my way out of the line. I sped down a corridor, up a flight of stairs, dialed the mark’s cell phone and told him to meet me in the front of Theater 16 with two tickets at 4:45 and to come alone. Then I motored through the lobby fending off agents dressed in blue overcoats to propel myself to the front of the concessions line safely dodging human obstacles and leaving with a box of Dots. Then I drove out of there toward Theater 16 swiftly kicking away various cardboard agents in my path. I was able to find a seat free from interference in the last row of the first section of Theater 16 right in the middle of the row enabling me to be free of any agents sitting behind me trying to tap out code with their foot on my seat back. Let the movie begin!
We did have a situation here and I managed once again to handle it with stealth and smarts. Look out, people, I’m goin’ to the movies.
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