Re-Treating Myself
It’s been a beautiful full moon the last four nights. There’s something about the moon for me. I’m a moonchild astrologically so I can almost feel when there’s a shift in the air. And there was this weekend, that’s for sure. Things get a little hectic and crazy during a full moon. Many things seem to come to a boiling point during this time. I never know what it is until I look up and see that moon and think, oh, so that’s what’s going on.
I took a retreat this weekend. I started doing this last year. I had threatened to do a retreat for so long and I’m glad I finally made good on my word. I need to give myself permission to check out for a period of time. I call it a “dandelion break” after a comic strip I used to read, “Bloom County.” Hey, world, I'm stopping for a minute to take a break. I never take vacations. For one reason or another over the years, I’ve been working non-stop to put my life in order and reach goals I’d set for myself years ago. Traveling around the country doing stand up comedy always seemed like a vacation of sorts. I’d go from city to city and stay in either the club’s rooms or some motel and think free HBO was all I needed and the nearest mall with a Nine West or an Ann Taylor. Boy, was I wrong. As fun as that was, Indianapolis, Cincinnati and Cleveland are not great vacation spots. No beaches, no margaritas by the sea, no clean sheets. (Okay, that’s a casualty of living in comedy club condos, yech!)
Then again, I’ve always been a little slow on the uptake. People get married, have children, get new cars, new houses and I’m content to take acting classes, live cheaply and have a library card. I say it’s time for me to join the human race. I have always been the type of person who doesn’t need a lot of make me happy. A clean, well-lighted room with a nice bed and a cup of hot tea with milk, that’s pretty much it. Simple joys are what my life is all about. Only now I’d like to expand my limited view of life and what simple joys can be had. If I can’t travel to Italy and spend a month there writing and living, then by golly, I’m taking a retreat.
This was a women’s retreat though and I almost bolted after the first night. It’s that thing where you don’t want to belong to a club that will have you as a member. And of course, the sharing. I’m so glad I turned out to be wrong. There is no reward in being isolated and separate from your fellow man, no matter how irreverent, sarcastic or how much comedy material you may need. And as a writer, the sharing of the stories, the stories themselves, the joy, the pain, the hurt, sadness, laughter, blessings, the healing, of all these women of such varied backgrounds and age, was such a gift to experience. It reinforced my belief in the word to heal, the stories that let us know we’re all the same, we’re not alone and that women bring such beauty to the world, such resilience and strength and compassion. It gave me a chance to reflect on, realize and recognize all the women in my life who have guided and strengthened me on my journey and how much I am grateful for that: my Aunt Alice, my mother, St. Terese of Lisieux, Joy Mills, my sister, my teachers like Maria Gobetti and Anna Gennari, my friends like Patty Barrett, that lovely woman I met this weekend, Maria de los Angelenos, which is her full birth name and means “Maria of the Angels”, and so many other women over the years including that nameless woman who came up to me after a comedy show that didn't go so well in Toledo years ago when I was first starting out, who looked in the eye and very determinedly said, "You are very funny and very talented," made sure I got it and left.
I came away with a renewed determination to continue writing and continue with my creative work and projects if only because I need to honor my stories and share the stories of others who need to be heard.
I didn’t have a margarita, nor was there a beach nearby. No suntan lotion was involved, nor any free HBO. But, boy, if you can’t get to Italy, taking a “dandelion break” for a weekend sure helps. I have to do this more often.
P.S. It did involve some amazing German Chocolate cake and apple pie. Mmmmm….
I took a retreat this weekend. I started doing this last year. I had threatened to do a retreat for so long and I’m glad I finally made good on my word. I need to give myself permission to check out for a period of time. I call it a “dandelion break” after a comic strip I used to read, “Bloom County.” Hey, world, I'm stopping for a minute to take a break. I never take vacations. For one reason or another over the years, I’ve been working non-stop to put my life in order and reach goals I’d set for myself years ago. Traveling around the country doing stand up comedy always seemed like a vacation of sorts. I’d go from city to city and stay in either the club’s rooms or some motel and think free HBO was all I needed and the nearest mall with a Nine West or an Ann Taylor. Boy, was I wrong. As fun as that was, Indianapolis, Cincinnati and Cleveland are not great vacation spots. No beaches, no margaritas by the sea, no clean sheets. (Okay, that’s a casualty of living in comedy club condos, yech!)
Then again, I’ve always been a little slow on the uptake. People get married, have children, get new cars, new houses and I’m content to take acting classes, live cheaply and have a library card. I say it’s time for me to join the human race. I have always been the type of person who doesn’t need a lot of make me happy. A clean, well-lighted room with a nice bed and a cup of hot tea with milk, that’s pretty much it. Simple joys are what my life is all about. Only now I’d like to expand my limited view of life and what simple joys can be had. If I can’t travel to Italy and spend a month there writing and living, then by golly, I’m taking a retreat.
This was a women’s retreat though and I almost bolted after the first night. It’s that thing where you don’t want to belong to a club that will have you as a member. And of course, the sharing. I’m so glad I turned out to be wrong. There is no reward in being isolated and separate from your fellow man, no matter how irreverent, sarcastic or how much comedy material you may need. And as a writer, the sharing of the stories, the stories themselves, the joy, the pain, the hurt, sadness, laughter, blessings, the healing, of all these women of such varied backgrounds and age, was such a gift to experience. It reinforced my belief in the word to heal, the stories that let us know we’re all the same, we’re not alone and that women bring such beauty to the world, such resilience and strength and compassion. It gave me a chance to reflect on, realize and recognize all the women in my life who have guided and strengthened me on my journey and how much I am grateful for that: my Aunt Alice, my mother, St. Terese of Lisieux, Joy Mills, my sister, my teachers like Maria Gobetti and Anna Gennari, my friends like Patty Barrett, that lovely woman I met this weekend, Maria de los Angelenos, which is her full birth name and means “Maria of the Angels”, and so many other women over the years including that nameless woman who came up to me after a comedy show that didn't go so well in Toledo years ago when I was first starting out, who looked in the eye and very determinedly said, "You are very funny and very talented," made sure I got it and left.
I came away with a renewed determination to continue writing and continue with my creative work and projects if only because I need to honor my stories and share the stories of others who need to be heard.
I didn’t have a margarita, nor was there a beach nearby. No suntan lotion was involved, nor any free HBO. But, boy, if you can’t get to Italy, taking a “dandelion break” for a weekend sure helps. I have to do this more often.
P.S. It did involve some amazing German Chocolate cake and apple pie. Mmmmm….
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